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Nine Rules for Older Singles | Kiplinger
Don't be afraid of dating when you're older. But do be careful. We have some dos and don'ts for senior daters.
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Dating Again? Nine Rules for Older Singles. Don't be afraid of dating when you're older. But do be careful. We have some dos and don'ts for senior daters. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works. (Image credit: Getty Images) last updated 2 September 2025. Contributions from Donna LeValley. If you’re single heading into the fall, you may long for a romantic weekend trip with that special someone. While shows like The Golden Bachelor offer a fantasy of senior daters cruising around French Polynesia, your reality might be an array of dating apps that make you want to unplug and have dinner for one at your local trattoria. But dating for seniors doesn’t have to be grim or joyless. Indeed, 30% of Americans age 50 and older are single, according to the Pew Research Center, and many of them report enjoying the same feelings of infatuation and giddiness with a new partner as in their twenties and thirties. Because older adults know themselves better and are truly dating for companionship — rather than meeting someone with whom to start a family — they can be better positioned to successfully find the right mate. “It doesn’t matter how old you are if you meet someone and there are sparks and you fall for someone, it’s really fun,” says Harlee Beth Levy, 62, a divorced lawyer in Clarksburg, Md. “The sex is just as good. I'm more confident to just be myself.” From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance. Be a smarter, better informed investor. CLICK FOR FREE ISSUE. Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters. Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail. Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail. That’s good news for the growing number of single or divorced older adults, who can expect to live solo longer. Over the last 30 years, the group with the largest increase in divorce rates was people 65 and older, whose divorce rate tripled, according to an analysis by Susan Brown, professor at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. The trend is known as gray divorce, and it means a greater number of older adults are getting back into the dating world. Levy and experts on dating later in life recommend these dos and don’ts for dating at age 50 and beyond. 1. Do understand yourself and your needs. Levy notices that the older people she meets are very direct about who they are and what they’re looking for. On a phone call before an upcoming date, one man told her, “I do marathons. I go biking.” She could tell he was screening for someone with an equivalent level of energy. If you’ve just lost a spouse, through divorce or death, take time to get to know yourself before jumping into the dating pool, recommends Kerstin Rao, a dating mindset coach in Westport, Connecticut. “Take a realistic look at where you are in life, and what you wish you had done. This is your chance to reinvent within reason and to dream a little bit bigger than you gave yourself permission to, and a little more authentically than society taught you to dream,” Rao says. This assessment will help you understand why prior relationships may not have worked, and you can make a choice to move forward with less baggage. 2. Do be safe. Dating has gotten riskier, so keeping yourself safe is the top priority. Read up on the dating red flags, from someone putting “roofies” (date-rape drugs) in your drink to “love bombing” new romantic partners by bombarding them with attention in order to manipulate them, or requesting money. “Scamming people, violent people and narcissistic people are highly motivated to fill their needs, and will deplete you and put you in danger,” Rao says. Many online daters use a video call to screen out scammers and incompatible partners before meeting up in real life — which should be in a public place. Use protection before any sexual intimacy, even if pregnancy prevention is no longer an issue. Sexually transmitted infections among adults age 55 and older more than doubled in the U.S.
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