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The simplest definition of a platonic friendship is one without any sexual or romantic feelings or involvement, but these friendships can be more complicated in real life. For example, some platonic friends may have hooked up or dated before deciding to “just be friends.” Other platonic friends may have feelings for one another but haven’t admitted or acted on them yet. For these reasons, it’s more accurate to say that a platonic friendship is one where two people aren’t currently sexually or romantically involved.
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[1][2] This article will give specific examples of platonic and non-platonic friendship, how to tell the difference between them, and some of the pros and cons of being “just friends.” Sections. What does “platonic” actually mean? It’s easy to become confused about what the word “platonic” really means because there isn’t one single definition everyone uses. Usually, platonic relationships are defined as ones without any sexual or romantic interest or involvement. [1][2] Still, not everyone subscribes to this definition, with some even suggesting it’s possible for platonic friends to have feelings for one another or even to have some sexual contact. [1][3] Others believe that once romance or sex are added to a friendship, it redefines the friendship in ways that are no longer platonic. [4] What is clear is that adding romance, sex, or intimacy to a platonic friendship can complicate the relationship, sometimes in ways that can damage or end it. In fact, the number one reason that friends choose to remain platonic is to avoid these kinds of complications and protect their friendships. [5] Romantic versus platonic love. While romantic or sexual relationships are often driven by passion, desire, and romantic love, platonic relationships are not. Instead, platonic friends share different kinds of intimacy like warmth, support, acceptance, and understanding. [4] Platonic friendships can be just as close, meaningful, and rewarding as romantic relationships, but they operate on a different set of rules and boundaries. [1][2][5][6] The “love’” between platonic friends is more like the love people feel for their family members rather than the love they’ve felt with past partners. Signs of platonic friendships. Most of the time, you will know when a friendship is truly platonic because you can honestly say you don’t have sexual or romantic feelings for them, and you’re pretty sure they don’t either. You love your friend like a sister or brother and always have. You wouldn’t consider dating them even if you were both single. You would feel uncomfortable if you found out they had a crush on you. You’ve never fantasized about them or thought about hooking up. You don’t hide anything you do or talk about with them from your partner. You wouldn’t feel jealous if they got into a serious relationship. You’re not touchy-feely with them and don’t hold hands, kiss, cuddle, etc. You mainly hang out with them around others or in public places during the day. Examples of platonic friendships. Not all platonic friendships are the same. There are different kinds of platonic love that you might feel for a friend. Platonic and non-platonic relationships can occur between opposite-sex friends and same-sex friends, although some research cites more challenges with platonic friends between men and women. [7] Some examples of different types of platonic friendships include: [1] A platonic soulmate who share a deep connection and friendship A friend who’s more like “family” because of your closeness or shared history A bromance or womance where you joke about romantic love, but it’s never serious A “work spouse” who you’re joined at the hip with or work closely with day-to-day A best friend who you’ve never considered dating or felt attracted to An older mentor who has acted as a teacher, role model, or support person to you. Why platonic friendships can be complicated. While platonic friendships sound pretty straightforward, the truth is they are often more complicated than they seem. When you feel the need to classify certain friendships as “platonic,” it’s usually because there’s a legitimate reason to suspect otherwise. Article continues below. If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. You’ll get a 100% free custom report with the areas you need to improve. This might be because one friend is attracted or romantically interested in the other or because they suspect their friend has these feelings. Another complicating factor can arise when one or both friends are in a committed relationship, making it more likely that the friendship could spark conflict or feelings of jealousy. Some of the common complications platonic friends experience include: [1][3][4][5][6][7] You or your friend spend a lot of time together, are really close, or do things that make other people suspect you’re a couple. You or your friend is in a committed relationship with someone who might become jealous or insecure about your friendship.
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